Couples work is complex and rewarding. I am very discerning about the couples I work with as my style is fairly unconventional. I believe the relational intersection between 2 human beings in intimate connection is a sacred mirror in which each person sees their his/her gifts and wounds reflected in the other. When I work with couples, I encourage each person looks inward for the source of the friction in the relationship, and as in individual work, to journey back to childhood to heal the source of pain at the root.
I begin by having one or 2 sessions with each partner individually, and then work for as long as desired with the couple together. Using the inner tool of Focusing, partners witness each other as they dive into themselves for the source of challenge in the relationship. The intimacy of witnessing one partner search within for what has been previously projected onto the other is exquisite. Trust deepens and hearts open. It is an honor and privilege to work with couples willing to do this courageous work.
I am not attached to whether couples remain together or choose another path. My primary intention is that each person know him/herself more deeply, more intimately, and learn to express his/her deepest truth to the other.
The book that most accurately describes my approach with Couples is called Love and Awakening: Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship, by John Welwood, and I encourage people who are interested in doing couples work with me to read it.